How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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