I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
im holly from the hills drunk
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
