I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize