could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
