Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
