just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize