Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i was born a porn star she said
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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