i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
