If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
