Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
