i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
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