what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize