i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
