was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
