no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize