You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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