first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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