I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
