It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
don't judge my taste in strippers
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
