i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize