I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
