We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
