you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
50% drunk capacity currently
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
