You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
