You're my little dorito
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
