At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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