He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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