I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
