You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Send help, water and tortillas.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize