i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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