Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
