But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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