i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize