I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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