sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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