I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
