We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
