I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
