Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
