I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
