do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
