You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Life is so much better after having sex.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
