You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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