Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
