So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
