Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
