They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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