So drunk, too bad you don't want this
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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