it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
