Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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