69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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