she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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