I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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