dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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