I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
