You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
