wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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