Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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