are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
