is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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